Letting go

Every day we are faced with challenges but often we do not realise how lucky we are to find ready-made solutions.

So all is not all roses here and today I’m faced with one of those challenges where imagination and intuition have to play the major role.

Yesterday of all days I was sat out enjoying a cup of luxury coffee in my garden of Eden at the back end of Moulay. It was such a lovely day sitting in the shade of palm trees and manicured grass and was hard to break away and go home to write. As I stand up an all familiar pain runs through my leg and hip. Of all times for this to happen – I had been free from pain for about 4 years from an old accident I’d had experienced about 8 years ago when I cleverly slipped on some spilt cream at a supermarket. It had not been cordoned off and as I turned the corner I fell right back on my coccyx – so after a few years of pain killers and treatments the pain went away – it was treated as bursitis but I’m not sure that’s the case as when the pain returns it always my left hip.

So there was that old familiar pain return again. This was all I needed happen and the only thing I’d brought with me from the UK was me. If I sat down for too long – well  even 20 minutes getting up is a challenge and I’m walking around like a bent old woman till my body can straighten itself up, and a lot longer to bend down – to be honest even getting up off the chair is not easy as everything feels like its locked.

Where are my friends I wail?

After about 10 minutes it releases and though still there I can function and walking is not a problem, bending and sitting is and it’s getting worse as the day goes on. There is no way I’m giving into this. The thought of having to fly back to the UK start filling my mind – and that’s not going to be pleasant sat for 4 hours on a plane – this just isn’t happening.  So here I am – don’t do medication – forgot my homeopathic medicine – and living in Jesus land with mobile phones and I’m stuck what to do for myself.  There are no acupuncturists or chiropractors in the whole of morocco – nothing at all here in Moulay. Tried the web so if anyone is hiding out there please let me know – Tried finding holistic therapists on the internet but nothing – this is crazy – what else is possible for me to rebalance my hip and release the stuck energy. A hot water bottle suffices a while but again as I get up the pain is getting worse and I’m almost in tears, I’m now thinking pain killers might have to be an option  as no matter what I do it just won’t budge. I walk its fine – I sit it starts – not really what I want happening whist I’m writing.

On an energetic level what this portraying to me I need to get into that space and do some shifting. I’ve tried Reiki, Access some Psych K – I’ve tried pressure points and nothing seems to want to shift it.

Last night I even resorted to urine therapy – maybe yuk to some of you but at this point anything to make the pain stop and not having to resort to medicine.  If I’d been anywhere in the world in ancient cities in America, China, Japan, Russia – anywhere there would have been some healer – I cant believe there are no medicine people here – there must be someone somewhere – what is possible in this infinite universe for me to meet someone who can help me shift this energy block.

As the day wears on I’m just in more pain. I just keep revisiting what I’ve been doing. The only thing I’m aware of is if I leave the pain too long it will take longer to shift and I need to be comfortable so needless to say I resort to going to the chemist – as a friend translates what’s wrong with me and out come the boxes ohhhh something’s not right all I want are some parecetamols to ease the pain so I can carry on doing what I’m doing and here are boxes with % on it  – I smelt like a rat – or rather cortisone or a steroid – for goodness sake all I want is a paracetamol and out comes another box of effervescent tablets with aspartame written on the ingredients – what is happening they seem to be handing out medication like its coming out of fashion – even in the uk they send you home with some paracetamols first – or do they it’s been so long I’ve been to the docs has the world changed so much. Finally I walk out with a box of paracetamols to gently make the pain more bearable . However I made a pact with myself -this is only for the rest of the day and that was hard enough as it was but without my usual methods of healing I was really not having much choice except to walk all day and I don’t have a recorder so that was not an option. So what was all this about.

Is this what letting go is – just letting things be as they are – just going with the flow of what is and releasing the stuckness or what I think should be.

I’ve had to let go of so many of my beliefs here and ways of life just to make life easier for me- I’ve eaten meat and now medication – yeiks what’s happening to me. I didn’t take this stuff when I had cancer, I’ve not taken medication for years except my op. But it looks like this is what it is to be – a day of paracetamols isn’t exactly going to kill me. So maybe there is some madness to medication when taken purposefully with the right intent. Maybe this is also teaching me that there is always a place for everything and we will not be judged for our decisions. I don’t judge others why should I be judging me.

Tomorrow is going to be a new day full of solutions

Thankfully I’ve brought my QI Kung CD – I’m hoping that might help, along with everything else I’ve been doing – after all I know healing doesn’t work as quick as an asprin.  The paracetamols would have to do now – Oh ancient city where are your healers where are the medicine people hiding?

Well maybe one day during my stay I will meet them today its massage, pills and a hot water bottle I had been nursing all day, tomorrow QI Kung aswell as a long walk and hopefully all will resort back to normality.

Thursday 10 october

I wake this morning to find that most of the pain has gone – I can get out of bed straight and walk without pain. I’m not talking any risks, now I know what’s at stake. Before breakfast I do some Chi Kung, surprisingly I feel lighter though can’t bend right down as the pain is still there. A walk is in order and as soon as I get back I find that I’m feeling more relaxed. The hip is still niggling as I sit down to work but now I know that I need to keep moving and walking around the house even up and down the stairs, and believe me there’s plenty.  The paracetamols are going into my case ‘just in case’ and I’m determined to manage this with the only resources I have – there has to be a way with what I have – I’ve challenged too many things in my life to let myself give into this, our own inner wisdom should be able to guide us to the solutions which we have buried within us.

Its now 5.30 pm. My hip niggles but I’m mobile and can get up off the chair without pain – success at last  – and I’m off for my afternoon walk again – gosh I’ll will be fit when I get back…………………….


One comment

  1. Hey sweetheart, I have liked this but don’t like, sorry to hear your hip is giving you pain, I know how that feels. Sending you lots of healing vibes. Lovely to read your stories. Sounds like you’re having a great adventure in a magical place. Miss you honey. Love you loads. XXO

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